aduhm: send nudes and i’ll repay you in cum
beckyloves: emoangel420: I’m naming my dick “Long Island” because it looks weird and everyone who’s ever been there hates it. lmao.
me: i'll just add 'haha' at the end so i don't sound mean
lapyear: petewentzprincessxo replied to your post: rape is genuinely funny. get off your high horse. wat I’m assuming someone (who probably wears a fedora) is trying to inspire a lengthy feminist rant by sending me provoking messages Reddit mens rights board!!!!
Things you do not have to feel guilty about
gazzalovesu: andrewwrichard: Saying no sometimes Wanting to be alone sometimes Saying no to sex Saying yes to sex Not being sure about your life career Deciding to study instead of going out Getting rid of the toxic people in your life Ending a relationship that is hurting you Not liking the things everyone else likes
punkrockmermaid: “I raped that test in math cla–” No. “I raped that game earli–” Stop. “The other team totally raped us tod–” Shut the fuck up. Do you see what you’re doing? YOU ARE MAKING RAPE SOUND LIKE A POSITIVE ACTION. YOU ARE EQUATING SEXUAL VIOLENCE WITH ACHIEVEMENTS. STOP.
kenzis: so apparently kevin rudd changed his stance on gay marriage because of ‘a personal journey’ kev got the d
witchyhellbroth: pinenolanapple: it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here” #don’t ever fake an orgasm let them know they disappointed you
condominic: New life goal: make a girl scream “oOoOoo pinoy, that’s the shit!” in a sexual and non-sexual context. Thanks, Ed.
zeloismybaby: kindred-spiritss: hamfarto: dildos-and-debutantes: rescuerhera: thejoshinator: mpregbert: ghostgiggles: if you play an instrument youre automatically 10x hotter im sorry thats just how the world works how the fuck do you play the mayonnaise ask Patrick Star
yourtubes: *asks ouija board who unfollowed me*
shedisenchants: shedisenchants: so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night you guys think I’m joking??
gotitforcheap: morefunthanbeingsad: Alanis Morrisette having a “No Regrets” tattoo on her arm removed by laser treatment that’s like rain on your wedding day
Imagine Harry Potter was set in Australia.
thedeepestcircleofhell: “Three blokes sitting outside the pub lift their heads as they hear a car engine rumbling, to their disbelief, the iconic 2008 Holden ute flies overhead, nothing but the wooping of the two young boys driving it and AC/DC blasting out of the sound system can be heard.” “You’re a cunt Harry” says Hagrid, Harry looking like a stunned mullet. “Oi nah fuck off mate” replies...
I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH WITH MY OWn mouth softly because i like you
pizza: rockandkrull: pizza: i don’t understand why parents say ‘i’m very disappointed in you’ like i don’t care i’m very disappointed that mcdonalds doesn’t deliver but u don’t hear me complaining about it actually in new york they deliver so whats your excuse i live in australia and im 103% sure they don’t deliver from new york to australia so whats YOUR excuse for leaving a shitty...