Instagram

rosaparking:

*tweaks my own nipples cause im a lonely hoe*

strangevibezz:

I’m so lonely at times.

(via handsssalloverr)

farnilyjewels:

when your selfie gets more than 5 notes

image

(Source: digimemory, via the-absolute-best-gifs)

casperlundemann:

Alysha Nett
Los Angeles

(via alysha)

dongcle:

micdotcom:

Paris banned pro-Palestinian protests — but that didn’t stop these 5,000 people

Follow micdotcom 

can someone who isn’t a conservative and/or a christian explain to me what is happening in palestine in a way that it is as unbiased as possible please?

(via dongcle)

silenthill:

i hate porn. “ohh fuck my ass!!!” you fuck your own damn ass

(via thefuuuucomics)

jehovahs:

rumour:

diancie:

profoak:

childservices:

always at the top of my drafts

FELIPE………….. IDK IF I CAN LOOK @ U THE SAME 

Honestly I’m not even kidding when I say this nasty ass bitch DISGUSTS me.

ummmmmm

(via rosaparking)

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

(via sleeping-withsyd)

pussylipgloss:

drycoochie:

This baby is wearing high waisted shorts

the baby can like barely walk why do people do this??

(via gotitforcheap)

flairey:

my officemates and i were arguing about the difference between a mouse and a rat so i googled it

and there we go

the difference is a rat plays jazz

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

pomelomela:

Even the most sexed up man in all of history knew that taking advantage of women was never ok.

(via novoselye)